That reminds me that mental health programs tend to assume that if you’re alone it’s your fault. That you’re ‘self-isolating’ or ‘need help being integrated in the community.’
I’d be able to ‘integrate with the community’ if it wasn’t ableist as hell and completely inaccessible to me.
I’ve also told my workers that I’m alone because of bullying and abuse and they wrote down in my file ‘has issues getting along with others.’ Thanks a lot, shitheads.
I was first sent to counseling because I was being bullied in school. That was the first reason I ever saw a shrink. I was seven years old. We were all treated as if we were there for various social problems. (It was both group therapy and individual therapy, with an MFCC who did both. My parents told me that because the counselor was very fat, she would understand being bullied. She didn’t seem to understand much of anything really, but I don’t really think you can expect an MFCC in 1987 to understand autism, either. She decided I was different because I’d fallen into a duck pond as a little kid, then she made me draw it over and over.) We were all treated as if bullying was part of our problem, rather than a problem on the part of the bully. It was really weird. You never saw the bullies getting made to see a counselor.
yeah my therapy experience was similar.
I was also sent in for bullying, it was all supposed to teach me something to help me socilize I think (I was 4-5 I don’t remember too much) but all I can remember is being incredibly uncomfortable there and things getting WORSE in school because then I was being teased for going to therapy. Eventually I figured out pretending not to be upset anymore would get them to stop so I just started bottling everything up instead.
so I have never really done well in therapy because I keep going in and my complaint is like “someone is abusing me” and the result would be something on the lines of “have you tried telling them to stop” or “well you could just do <thing I can’t do>”.
I’m disturbed that I never processed it quite like that.
It’s messed up that I do remember being taught “Bullies are mean because they are hurting inside.” or some nonsense — were they trying to teach us to be compassionate to the people who hurt us? Because… UM — and I tried to turn that on one of the kids that was particularly horrible to me at the time, it went terribly.
But for all my in house suspensions and visits to the guidance counselor, I don’t even ever remember that kid, or any of the others, ever getting in trouble for how they treated me, let alone being forced into counseling. I get that I did earn those suspensions a lot of time by acting out, but it was really unbalanced looking back on it now.