Theme by Katisconfused

pinkandblueandrainbow:

ghostlynagisa:

things dependent people do that they literally cannot help:

  • ask you to come online and comfort them often
  • will agree with you even if they dont actually agree (a lot of lying)
  • will do anything to keep you as a friend even if it starts to become so desperate and creepy
  • will be very very very hurt if you completely leave them mentally

so dont you dare call someone manipulative for symptoms they cant help.

okay so this post is making me mega uncomfortable

the first and second points like. ok. the first is fair enough if they’re just requesting that you give them some support and you agree to it. the second can develop into something pretty unhealthy but it’s also fairly innocuous.

but do not start me on the third and fourth.

a person can have dependency problems and still be manipulative, and they can have them and NOT be manipulative. manipulation is manipulation regardless of motive.

if someone will ‘do anything to keep you as a friend/keep you around them’, and those anythings include isolating you, sabotaging your other friendships or things you do that don’t involve them, deliberately damaging your self-worth, any other kind of abusive behaviour that they use to make you unable to leave them, that is still manipulative. that is still abusive. you are still 100% within your rights to get the hell out of there.

if someone wants you to care about them and doesn’t care whether that makes you unable to care for yourself, that is still wrong. 

it is not your responsibility to stay with a person who is manipulating you or abusing you just so you don’t hurt them. this post feels so much like it’s trying to tell people to just tolerate it, no matter how bad it gets, even if the other person knows what they’re doing but won’t stop. that’s really not okay.

Okay, as someone who has boarded on some of this shit, the op still bothers the fuck out of me. Actually, maybe it bothers the fuck out of me because I’ve been on the edge of some of this behavior.

I think most people will agree there is absolutely nothing wrong with the first point. This is a basic part of friendships, especially a close one. If a friend is having a terrible time and needs to talk to me, I want to be there. I would appreciate the same from my friends, even if I have a massively hard time asking for it.

The second point is… unhealthy feels like an understatement. I’d like to think op realized that though, so I won’t go into that much. It’s the kind of thing I’d advise a person work on for the sake of both their own emotional well being and for the sake of the people around them, because that can hurt you and the people you do it too if they ever realized you were doing it. Healthy relationships are built on honest communication.

If you have reached “desperate and creepy” you are hurting yourself and the person you’re trying to “keep”. If you reach “desperate and creepy” and you become aware of this and you are unwilling to work on this then you can no longer claim that you “can’t help it”. If you are unwilling to give someone space, regardless of the reason they want it, you can no longer claim you “can’t help it”. You cannot ask people to comfort you if you are not willing to respect them.

Most people are hurt if relationships of any kind fall apart. Yes, some of us are more hurt by this than others, but it’s really fucking selfish to expect someone to stay because their leaving with hurt you. You cannot say it’s not manipulative to make everything about your feelings. “I’ll be hurt if you leave.” does not trump the feelings of the person cutting you out of their life. In any kind of relationship everyone involved is meant to be equal. Your feelings do not

In the end it boils down to the fact that if you are putting your feelings above the other person/people in situations that affect both/all of you — if you are not respecting them as their own people who also have feelings — then you are being abusive and manipulative. Fuck off with “can’t help” being creepy and desperate.

I get being clingy on an unhealthy level. I have problems with this too. But if you are made aware of it and you still treat the other person like a fucking doll who is only there to comfort you then you do not get to claim you “can’t help it” and you certainly cannot claim it’s not manipulative. Don’t expect people to cater to your needs if you can’t respect theirs.

Posted at 5:19 PM on Oct 16, 2014 with 6,246 notes Reblogged Via: sugarskulltula OP: ghostlynagisa
Source: ghostlynagisa
#abuse #emotional manipulation #rant

PHOTO POST

shintai-ab:

the-scarlet-priestess:

magicalgirlconfessions:

Hitomi Shizuki apologists are the worst of Madoka fans. Sure, go and defend homophobia when it’s what gets us killed every day. Go and defend a privileged little rich brat stealing a man she previously had no interest in JUST to prove herself superior to her friend. It doesn’t matter how she was raised, DECENT people know not to hate others based on their sexual attraction.

submitted by Anon

Someone took a joke statement by a fictional fourteen year old japanese girl awfully serious.

Also how the fuck could you interpret Hitomi asking Kyousuke out as her doing it to spite Sayaka? WTF?? She clearly liked him and even gave Sayaka a chance to confess her feelings first cos she knew Sayaka liked him and she felt she had a right to be with him if she wanted to be since she knew him for so long. That is fucking nice. Most people, “friends” even would just go “lol fuck u I asked first too bad 4 u”. Clearly you decided Hitomi was the devil the moment she said the silly “girls can’t love girls” thing. 

Maybe I’m weird but when Hitomi said “girls can’t love girls” I interpreted it as sarcastic and playful? Like she really didn’t care and was just playing around with her friends and ran off to make a scene because, remember when Sayaka was grabbing onto Madoka all “I want you to be my wife!” and Hitomi just coughed to remind them of where they were? It’s uncharacteristic for the prim and proper rich girl to make a scene like that and I personally think that if she were actually saying “girls can’t love girls” she wouldn’t have run off like that. Her friends play around and act silly, and she finally does too. o3o

The subbed version doesn’t even have her say, “Girls can’t love girls.”

(That screen shot was taken from the subbed version on Hulu, so this isn’t a fansub.)

Everything leading up to this felt, to me at least, as if she were jealous that Madoka and Sayaka seemed to have bonded so much the night before. None of this little outburst felt like, “I think it’s wrong for girls to be together.” I wouldn’t doubt the possibility she was being intentionally ridiculous.

And the other part. Holy hell the other part.

Hitomi did not ask out Kyousuke to spite Sayaka. Just because she wasn’t seen spending time with Kyousuke like Sayaka was doesn’t mean she didn’t also already like him. We only see small parts of their lives in the series, and it obviously focuses more on the Puella Magi than it does on civilians.

It’s not like she was like “lol gonna take your man now bye”. She talked to Sayaka about it first. And there’s a really important thing there: You can’t expect your crush to wait for you to ask them out. The people you develop crushes on are people; they have lives. They are not just waiting for you to ask them out.

I’ve had something like this. When I was in middle school my best friend at the time ended up dating the dude I had a crush on. We talked about it first. Yes, I was upset, but I also knew I didn’t own him. Sometimes this shit happens, and I get feeling upset and even getting kind of bitter about it, but it’s not about “stealing” someone because you don’t own the person you have a crush on.

Posted at 8:30 PM on Oct 3, 2014 with 135 notes Reblogged Via: cyberworm-txt OP: magicalgirlconfessions
Source: magicalgirlconfessions
#puella magi madoka magica #hitomi shizuki #rant #hello yes I guess I am a hitomi apologist now

into-the-weeds:

c-is-for-circinate:

gorlt:

why are people so afraid to google things? why come to someone’s inbox and ask a researchable question where you may have to wait hours, days, even weeks for a response when you can google it in less than 3 seconds? what are you afraid of? results?

1) Because doing research is a skill, and not everybody has it.  Data mining is difficult.  What seems to you to be a simple, obvious google search is not necessarily that obvious.  How do you know which keywords to use?  How do you know which website that pops up will have the information you’re looking for?

2) Because figuring out what information is reliable and what information isn’t reliable is a god damn crapshoot—again, especially if you’re not highly practiced, but often even if you are.  Maybe you get three or four or ten different answers, possibly mostly in agreement, possibly conflicting.  Who’s trustworthy?  Who’s lying out their asses?  How do you make these disparate pieces of information fit together?

3) Because the sources you find on the internet are very rarely tailored to exactly the question you’re trying to ask.  You may not even know exactly the question you’re trying to ask.  A static internet webpage cannot work with you to figure out what you need to know.

4) Because a great many people learn things better in an interactive context than just from words on a page.  This is why we have teachers in classrooms instead of just babysitters and textbooks.  As a group, we complain about and dislike schools where class involves a teacher acting like a babysitter, and telling the kids to just look things up in their textbook.  Remember?

Addendum, a large number of people on tumblr and on the internet at large may have intellectual disabilities, difficulties with language processing, etc etc, which make 1-4 significantly more difficult.  People without disabilities may also find points 1-4 hard.  Some people with disabilities may find them all easy.  But it is well worth considering that not everybody’s brain works like yours does, and not everybody interfaces with information like you can.

5) Sometimes, because the question has to do with the person we’re asking specifically.  If Amy gets really angry every time the subject of Bob comes up, I am not going to go to Carol to ask what Amy’s deal is.  I am going to say, “Hey Amy, why do you get so angry about Bob?”
Then either Amy well tell me what her deal is herself, or, if we’re on the internet, 30% chance Amy is going to call me a fucking scumsucking idiot and rage about me all in caps with a lot of exclamation points for the rest of the night.

6) Often, because the people being asked these questions set themselves up as experts in the first place.  They blog extensively about a subject, or speak knowledgeably about it.  They write lengthy posts pertaining to their topic.  Maybe they just reference this topic in passing a whole lot.  But very, very often, when a blogger gets asked a question, it’s because that blogger has demonstrated knowledge about the topic at hand.

It is nobody’s responsibility to spend their time writing essays to educate random strangers on the internet.  HOWEVER, it is not that far a leap to think that some people, when puzzled by a confusing question, would rather ask an expert than try to deal with datamining a solution on their own.

Of course, tumblr has developed a culture where it’s even odds that you’ll get a fantastic, well-thought-out, informative answer, or you’ll be publicly shamed and excoriated for daring to ask such a dumb, dumb, stupid question.

And fuck you, you scum-sucking idiot, for adding to it.

Please just marry me already.

I can agree that 1-4 are all good points.

5 presents an issue that actually works with why it’s generally a bad idea to ask people questions about something unless they’ve specified they’re okay answering questions about said thing.

If Amy gets really angry every time the subject of Bob comes up, whether or not I will ask anyone anything depends largely on my relationship with  the people involved. Amy may very well respond with, “It’s none of your business, you scumsucking idiot.” It’s not just the internet that makes someone give you an angry response.

I wouldn’t go ask a random stranger a question just because they blog about something a lot, especially not on their personal blog. It could be different on depending on the blog type, but the amount of times people send these kinds of questions to a personal blog of someone they barely know is baffling. Don’t assume that someone talking about their personal experiences with a subject wants to have an interactive discussion about the topic as a whole.

At the very least maybe send an ask before the question you want an answer to. You could say something like, “Is it okay if I ask you about (topic)? There are some things I don’t understand and you seem to know a lot about the subject.”

As for what bothers me about 6: Talking about one’s personal experiences with a topic is not setting yourself up as any kind of expert, and it’s kind of anxiety provoking for me to realize that might mean people think that.

I’ve seen people talk about how a certain thing effects themselves or their lives, and they might reblog posts from other people with similar experiences, and people seem to hold them up as some kind of “expert” because of personal blogging. When they tell someone they don’t want to answer questions on the topic, they will get told “but you talk about (topic) all the time.” with no regard for how or why that person writes things on the subject on their personal blog.

So while I can agree with the first 4 points, and wish people thought about that before encouraging an internet search like that’s the easy answer to something, I also don’t think it’s right to just send someone you barely know an ask because you assume them talking about their personal experience makes them an expert. No, people probably also shouldn’t respond with capslock rages to these asks, but considering how condescending and demanding some of those askers come across, I can see how that might grate on people’s nerves after a while.

And please, for the love of everything, please never assume someone is presenting themselves as an expert just because they talk about something a lot. The word “expert” puts people on a pedestal that is probably neither wanted nor deserved by most of the people in question.

Posted at 3:49 AM on Sep 28, 2014 with 23,856 notes Reblogged Via: bittersnurr OP: gorlt
Source: gorlt
#rant

katisconfused replied to your post “I think Marvel needs to reassess its definition of “unexpected” …”

there is a serious fucking issue if the illegal version of your product ends up being higher quality than the paid version

Yes. If pirating didn’t make me jumpy with the whole torrent thing a few years ago, and if the files didn’t add to my disorganization I’d just go back to that honestly. I also miss the reader Marvel’s site had a few years ago. On top of not having these errors, the pages seemed to load better.

Comixology’s reader is mostly good, and actually keeps track of where you left off. But that requires for paying for individual comics and dear god I can’t afford to do that. So that mostly gets reserved for newer things.

The other option is buying the ebook version of comics, which is what I tend to do with certain older things anyway. It also keeps my place and doesn’t cost as much as spending $3-$4 a comic.

But considering I read enough comics in a day lately that I deemed it worth buying the year sub again after a year without it, all of these options are somehow less exhausting than hunting down files for ever random thing I find myself in the mood for reading anyway. (And I already gave them the money, so…)

Posted at 9:07 PM on Sep 18, 2014 with 0 notes #katisconfused #little alien replies #I accidentally went on a #rant #idek how that happened

I would really love more representation of adhd that doesn’t treat it as a magical gift. Not just in the literal sense, but having it treated as some gift metaphorically gets old too. Even as I understand that it is a gift for some people, and even as I can admit that sometimes it has upsides to me, it’d be nice to see adhd represented in such a way that the person is actually legitimately struggling to function by societal standards.

Because it’s rare enough to see adhd represented, and even inside of fandom meta I’ve seen it’s often “I think this character has adhd because (insert mostly positive points here).”

I get that people want to see their good points of themselves represented, but I’m a terribly negative person and it’d be nice to see the struggles addressed more.

Sure, hyperfocusing on an important project and getting things done is good, but there can be more negatives than “forgot to eat/sleep” and “hyperfocusing on something useless but fun.” Sometimes I just stare into space for twenty minutes or hyperfocus on something that’s completely useless and not even enjoyable. I do these things and I can’t even tell you why.

I know we have like negative amounts of representation already, but the fact that it never seems to represent life as I experience it makes it more disheartening for me, and I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels that way.

Posted at 9:55 AM on Sep 17, 2014 with 144 notes #adhd #actually adhd #rant #little alien life shit #representation

imblaazed said: “I think ADHD is a gift. We are not disabled just different. We think an operate different and that is our gift.”


actuallyadhd:

That’s awesome that you don’t find your ADHD disabling!

I do, and so do lots of other people. We have extreme difficulty doing things that we want or need to do in order to have good lives. That’s a disability.

However, ADHD affects everyone differently, which means that two people with the same diagnosis will have different symptoms and experience the world differently. They’ll have different difficulties and different abilities, and that’s actually really interesting and something to celebrate.

-J

I think it’s really important for the person who sent this ask, and anyone else who thinks this way, to step back and remember that your experience are your experiences alone. While some people may have common experiences, they won’t ever match up perfectly. Basically, like actuallyadhd pointed out, adhd — and literally everything in life — affects everyone differently.

And I honestly find it painfully insulting when people say “We are not disabled” when referring to people with adhd as a whole. Maybe the asker isn’t, and a lot of people aren’t, but as someone who cannot function on a level that society expects me too because I am constantly tripping over my own brain, “We are not disabled” to me feels like “I’m fine so it can’t be adhd that’s making you unable to function. You are not trying hard enough.”

Maybe I’m taking this a bit more personally than I should, but I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. Having adhd doesn’t automatically make you disabled, but never try to claim that “we” as a group are not disabled by our disorder just because some of us aren’t.

Posted at 9:45 AM on Sep 17, 2014 with 40 notes Reblogged Via: actuallyadhd OP: actuallyadhd
#adhd #rant #so tired of people saying 'it's a gift' #the good of this disorder does not outweigh the bad when you can't even do normal every day shit okay

PHOTO POST

destroyallnerds:

alexandrakollontai:

nintendo6664:

betaorionid:

cublings:

uvwmaps:

social justice

this post is shit and creative freedom doesnt mean you get to be a racist,sexist,transphobic  asshole lol 

"creative freedom" wow yeah the same cishet white neurotypical people in every piece of media ever is so creative and realistic right.  (sarcasm) 

hey op what the fuck is your ailment

are those fucking swastikas

yeah

cuz, you know,

wanting equal representation in modern media is just as bad as killing millions of people

These are potentially the most impressive, over the top strawpeople I have ever seen. I don’t think I’ve even seen such obvious strawpeople in comics about strawpeople, that is how impressive this is.

I’m also always really amazed how often people cry about “creative freedoms” as if creating the same boring characters over and over is creative and adding diversity to a thing is somehow less creative. Not to mention that no one is going to stop you from doing those things, but your “creative” freedoms don’t mean people can’t criticize the lack of creativity.

Anyway, literally none of this is even happening. Make and consume whatever media you like, just don’t assume it is above criticism. Media that “sjws” like isn’t above criticism either. Why do so many people treat it like issues are ever black and white instead of actually, I don’t know, looking critically at the discussions?

Posted at 5:35 PM on Sep 16, 2014 with 2,502 notes Reblogged Via: posteriorsteak OP: uvwmaps
Source: uvwmaps
#nazis / #...kind of? #plz be trolling #rant #now I'm sad because my boobs are too big for me to ever become a fictional character :c #damn you strawfictionpolice

bittersnurr:

madeofpatterns:

animafantome:

madeofpatterns:

Drug restrictions are not caused by drug abusers.

If you doubt this, consider why alcohol is easy to obtain legally.

Tell this to the state of Kentucky, where my mom struggles to get the pain meds she needs because the state has come down hard in a shitty, misguided attempt to curb drug abuse. This has nothing to do with alcohol.

That’s the fault of the politicians who are making those choices. Not the fault of addicts.

Yeah that is not looking at the big picture

What happens is this, they started restricting the drugs, so more people with valid need couldn’t get it.

So what do you do if no one will give you painkillers legally and you are in so much pain you can’t function?

Well obviously you get them somewhere else. So you find a drug dealer. Except street drugs are unsafe and often laced with other drugs. So people get hooked on other things or OD because they are basically getting blind bagged medication. Now they are drug abusers.

So they add more restrictions.

And this goes on forever.

I am lucky that my state has pot as a legal option for me because they refuse to give me real painkillers either, but the honest fact is what I am doing now is basically no different than self medicating on street drugs. A lot of addicts are people who were turned away from hospitals and that is an important thing to recognize.

There is also the issue that treating drug abuse as a problem instead of as a symptom is a huge factor in this. People who abuse drugs are often doing so for similar reason as those of us that acquire our medication legally: to try to medicate something.

So basically this “war on drugs” bs assumes “get rid of the drugs and you get rid of the problem” instead of addressing the problems that cause someone to turn to drugs or alcohol to begin with. This, of course, includes making the shit that’s abused more harder to get for people that require it for their health.

And it obviously isn’t always the case, but drug-abuse-as-self-medicating is common enough that sending someone to jail for drugs doesn’t make them magically stop using drugs, and making the drugs harder to obtain doesn’t really stop the people who are obtaining the illegally, it just stops the people who would be getting them legally.

I totally get being angry at people who abuse hard to obtain meds. I’m not going to pretend I never resent those people because it’s made life harder for me and for people I care about, but at the same time it’s largely the fault of a system that decided, despite evidence to the contrary, that solution is making shit harder to get your hands on.

Posted at 2:54 PM on Sep 16, 2014 with 90 notes Reblogged Via: bittersnurr OP: madeofpatterns
Source: madeofpatterns
#drugs #alcohol #rant #medical junk #I'm sorry this feel incoherent idk if it is or not because I am out of it again

posteriorsteak:

nonewillknow:

Thepersonwhomadeamistake:

sizvideos:

To the Boys Who May One Day Date My Daughter - Video

I fucking hate this bullshit so much.

Its misogynistic, archaic asscrap.

YOUR DAUGHTER IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY.

WHO SHE DATES OR SLEEPS WITH IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. THINKING OTHERWISE IS INCREDIBLY CREEPY AND INVASIVE.

 SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO MAKE HER OWN CHOICES AND MISTAKES.

YOU DON’T MAKE THE RULES. SHE IS NOT CATTLE. HER LOVE LIFE IS NOT YOUR CONTRACT. SHE MAKES THE RULES.

Not only are you advocating for a father to not care about his daughter, but you’re also misinterpreting the video horribly. He threatens the man that breaks his daughter’s heart. He threaten’s the man that hits her. That takes away her smile. He does not say she cannot love anyone, male or female, he says that they better love her. And if that’s not what a father is supposed to do, then I’ll be damned.

Maybe I’m wrong, I accept that, but please… please explain to me how fatherly love and care for his daughter is an archaic and misogynistic practice. Explain to me how allowing her to date who she loves, to do what she wants, and teaching her to not put up with abuse is wrong. I would love to hear it, she might not be his property, but he is her guardian, and guarding her happiness is no crime.

threatening to hurt someone who hasn’t done anything is a fucking red flag and if you can’t see that… well…

Let’s start off with the implication of “To the boys who may one day date my daughter… I have been training to kill you.” There is some other stuff in there, some stuff the gifset leaves out, but nothing in between “date my daughter” and “kill you” that implies the guy in question will hurt her. Phrasing is pretty key here, and the fact he leads off with that is scary as fuck.

He then goes on to talk about how threatening her future potential boyfriends are going to find him. Meeting the parents of someone you’re dating shouldn’t be scary. I get that people get nervous, I get that their are expectations in place, but he seems to be taking pride at the thought of scaring the shit out of these boys. A parent’s approach to meeting the people in their children’s life should not be threatening, it should be welcoming.

It takes until 1:30 for “break her heart” to even come up. And while he shortly follows up with “I have taught her that a man should never hit a woman.” it feels off that it doesn’t come up sooner because breaking someone’s heart and abuse don’t have to be the same thing.

He’s also really clowny about “her mother would like to add that you really shouldn’t hit anybody”. Like, no, that is a valid point. While people often talk about the power imbalance between men and women, it’s also really super fucking important to teach both of those points regardless. It’s also really important for the points made in the last two gifs, because it’s important for his daughter to remember that a female partner or a non-binary partner is also capable of abusing her and that she should speak out just the same regardless. It’s also important for her to remember that people shouldn’t hurt each other so she can be mindful that she doesn’t become an abuser.

So while it does feel like his heart is in the right place, his approach is unhealthy and scary. And while I hope this is largely exaggeration, it does raise some red flags and I can also see the gross, creepy, possessive side of this.

Posted at 10:28 AM on Sep 1, 2014 with 802,728 notes Reblogged Via: posteriorsteak OP: sizvideos
Source: sizvideos
#guns / #violence / #abuse / #rant #and maybe I'm taking personal issue with the 'daddy issues' bit because it feels like 'go prey on those broken girls'

PHOTO POST

cannibalcoalition:

hannahcarbons:

coelasquid:

leighanief:

luvlysmilk:

delano-laramie:

Stay away from Fiverr. Promoting this sort of thing is NOT okay.

It’s ruining an industry.

Wtf wow

What bullshit. Yeah, don’t worry people, you’re getting so ripped off, paying an already moderate amount for something your company is young to use and advertise either every minute of everyday for the rest of it’s existence.

Jog like artists need to eat, or pay bills, or have a roof over their heads or anything. Not like they’re PEOPLE trying to make an honest living or anything.

Every time I see that picture on my dash I expect it to be a prank and that I’m going to scroll down and see a bunch of examples of their $5 logos that amount to crudely drawn dicks.

Jesus Christ.  What dark pit do you have to have crawled out of to think “let’s make a company whose primary purpose is to further undercut artists even more than they already are?”

Why pay a person what they’re actually worth when you can get an amateur to do it for a pat on the head? Why invest in a professional when anyone can do it? Design isn’t like a skill or anything. My four year old cousin can replicate the works of Piet Mondrian in Paint!

Oh, those artists. They think they’re people. 

I think when I first heard of this site, I assumed it’d be people offering things that are actually worth five dollars. (Like, with the visual arts thing, I could see a quick sketch being five dollars?)

Someone’s offering a 1,000 word story for $5.

People are offering to do several minutes of animation for $5.

There are various services on here that take hours of work that people are willing to offer for $5. This isn’t okay. People shouldn’t be willing to pay someone so little, especially for skilled work; people shouldn’t believe it’s okay to work for so little or, worse, that they need to work for so little in order to earn anything. Even if they don’t personally need the money, they are making it harder for the people that do to make the money that skilled work should earn.

Posted at 2:43 PM on Aug 6, 2014 with 12,090 notes Reblogged Via: homesteadilee OP: delano-laramie
Source: delano-laramie
#art things #writing things #rant #I shouldn't be surprised but here we are

tylerssjoseph:

dont let tumblr make you think

  • school isnt important
  • its okay to be rude to your parents
  • its normal to hate everyone
  • self harm and suicide are romantic or great
  • being rude is cute
  • being a female who hits or yells at your boyfriend is woman empowerment
  • depression and other mental illnesses are beautiful
  • grades arent important
  • education isnt important
  • college isnt important
  • smoking is cool
  • drugs are cool
  • If the person has a different career path in mind, it’s not. (Like, one that requires training, not something unrealistic like “I want to be famous.”)
  • If your parents were actually awful to you and you don’t live with them, I’d say it’s pretty okay. If my father got into contact with me I’d be a major asshole to him and he’d deserve it.
  • It’s not “normal” but it’s not an uncommon feeling. And generally even people who say they hate everyone don’t actually hate everyone.
  • But if you do it, it’s also not something you should be ashamed of. Seek help when you need it, but yeah don’t glorify  it either.
  • I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone imply being rude is cute.
  • I’ve definitely never seen anyone say this. It sounds an aaawful lot like a bad straw feminist.
  • Not beautiful but, again, not something to be ashamed of having. If nothing else, people being allowed to talk about their mental health openly is super fucking important.
  • They aren’t for everyone. See my first point.
  • Education means a lot of different things for a lot of different people.
  • College isn’t for everyone. The fact that an entire generation + more had “go to college or you’re a loser” shoved into our heads is part of why the economy is shit right now. Not every job requires college and not every person is suited for college based jobs.
  • Do people still think that?
  • Do people still think that? Most addicts I’ve known have become addicts as a way to self medicate something else in their life that’s fucked up. It’s pretty easy to say “Don’t do drugs.” but drugs are frequently the symptom and treating them like the problem instead doesn’t do as well as treating the problem. (Which is almost never that someone convinced them that doing drugs would make them “cool”.)
Posted at 4:19 PM on Jun 30, 2014 with 216,532 notes Reblogged Via: spoopysaporta OP: spoopysaporta
#rant #is there some irony in that they completely disregarded grammar in a post like this? irony is the wrong word I think #drugs/ #sorry I just got frustrated with the 'college is important' thing again and kind of went downhill from there

To all the ouchy people out there

bittersnurr:

thelamedame:

thelamedame:

Please don’t feel like you need anyones permission to obtain or use mobility aids. No one can determine your needs or abilities better than you, and don’t hurt yourself for the sake of “toughing it out”

I used a cane for two years with my (wonderfully supportive) doctor saying it was unnecessary the entire time. However, i later received a diag that explained my constant nausea/lack of balance, and at that point his attitude changed from “you don’t need that” to “it’s good you’ve been using that when you needed it”

Word of warning though, improper use of mobility aids can cause soft tissue damage which may further exacerbate existing issues, so please get some education on proper usage and practice at home for a while before taking your show on the road

since I got another ask along the lines of “Am I allowed to use a cane?”

THERE ARE NO MOBILITY AID POLICE

AND ANYONE WHO TRIES TO TELL YOU YOU CAN’T HAVE OR DON’T NEED HELP CAN FUCK OFF

Please

This also goes for spoonies and ecv use; it took me a long time to just accept that I AM one of the people who needs to use one occasionally, and moreover I’ve never been in the store (here) where there weren’t bunches available, and I’ve def made more than a few friends/lovers/relatives/store managers hella uncomfortable and pissed off by collapsing in a store when i should have been using te damn cart

I think tumblr might be making the already existing ableist attitude that discourages people from using aids worse because of appropriation talk and people not understanding what it actually means :/

It doesn’t help that some people on tumblr DO say aids is appropriation I saw a post about stim toys being called that by someone before.Using things you need is not appropriation don’t worry about those jerks

Wow.

Disability is not a culture, that sort of thing doesn’t work the same way. At all. Anyone who’s taken to policing other people’s needs regarding their illness, disability, disorder, or misc health problems needs to consider what they’re trying to accomplish.

Especially important things to make a point about: A lot of aids and similar things exist to help manage symptoms. No one gets to decide that you need to have x disability to use y thing. There is so much overlap with disability that two completely different things can have a few extremely similar symptoms.

All of this plus the fact that many of us have trouble asking for any kind of accommodation already due to having it put in our heads that we’re being lazy or not trying hard enough or we don’t deserve help for whatever reason. All of this makes the people acting like you need to meet their checklist before you’re allowed to use a specific thing so much worse.

Posted at 8:56 PM on Jun 29, 2014 with 166 notes Reblogged Via: bittersnurr OP: thelamedame
Source: thelamedame
#rant #disability

nightworldlove:

revolutionariess:

ships u know are queerbaiting trash yet u fall for it. u fall for the breadcrumbs because ur so desperate. ur trash and the writers are trash but by god u will go down with that ship

   I already knew I was going down with this ship from the beginning.

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   But don’t call me trash for liking what I like and shipping the ships that I ship. Can’t you just let me enjoy being on my pink cloud of Korrasami? Because I am pretty damn sure that this is (also) about that.

   And I’m a trash writer too? If you read all my writings, and I mean literally all my writings, then come back to me. I think it’s quite rude, to say the least, to call people that without even knowing them.

   I’m fucking gay myself, okay? And I would love for Korrasami to be canon, is that really so bad? I think there are worse things in the world, you know? Like people who are being threatened day in, day out. Who are being bashed regularly, who have to live in fear, every single day and fear for their lives. People who are being kicked out of their homes and families for being who they are and expressing themselves.

   And you are calling ME trash…?! What the fuck is wrong with you?

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I don’t want to assume intent or anything, but let’s look at op’s tags:

[sad violin song in the distance]     it’s just so paTHETIC BECAUSE YOU KNOW     YOU ARE AWARE WHAT THEY ARE DOING     YOU KNOW THE WHOLE ~BROMANCE EMPHASIS IS JUST TO ENSURE THE HETERO REMAINS INTACT     BUT     YOU WANT IT     YOU WANT TO PRETEND     EVEN FOR A MOMENT     THAT THESE TWO PPL CAN BE IN LOVE WITHOUT JUDGEMENT     AND THAT YOU CAN TOO     [sobs]    

I mostly want to point out the last one first because in general the tone I get from all of it, but especially with [sobs] at the end is that they are including themselves in all this. “You’re accepting breadcrums because you’re desperate.” is an unfortunate reality a lot of us face with these things, and it’s something that makes plenty of us feel awful at times. (If it doesn’t make you feel awful, I’m happy for you, and kind of jealous honestly.)

I don’t know why you think this is aimed at any one ship like even partially. Idk if op had anything specific in mind, and maybe every individual who reblogged it has specific things in mind but, again, this is a thing that just about every lgbt+ person finds them doing with countless characters in countless shows, games, movies, comics, and books. It feels a lot less like a dig at any one ship or the shippers of those ships, and a lot more at the writers who have us clinging to this crap.

I’m also a bit curious why you think they were talking about your writing… unless you queerbait in your writing? They were talking about the writers who do that, not every writer ever. Not even every writer who is into pairings that are basically formed from queerbaiting — because, again, most lgbt+ people get into pairings like that at some point because we have so little other choice.

Posted at 6:12 PM on Jun 29, 2014 with 14,662 notes Reblogged Via: nightworldlove OP: tobiasfitzosborness
Source: tobiasfitzosborness
#rant #representation

1ocus:

peent:

abrotion:

abrotion:

abrotion:

do u really think i give a fuck about your straight person opinion

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[straight person voice] I BOUGHT A FUCKING RAINBOW PACKPACK TO SUPPORT YOU GUYS

I am forever baffled by “We could easily be assholes and yell slurs at you.” because EASILY? There are people who find it easier to be aggressively bigoted than to treat people with respect and some of those people consider themselves our allies?!?

I mean because I get why people can be the kind of bigoted that’s less… obvious. Because most microagressions and shit are coded into society to the point that most of us can go a long time without realizing we’re doing/saying something wrong until someone says something or we read a thing on the subject. Those habits are hard to unlearn, and generally the less shitty people will try to watch that about themselves.

But how can someone think they could be easily yelling slurs at someone and then try to claim they are that person’s ally? That is like, “I could be verbally harassing you and sometimes tripping you when you walk down the hall. Be grateful I’m not doing that.”

?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Posted at 4:07 PM on Jun 29, 2014 with 57,376 notes Reblogged Via: 1ocus OP: grlband
Source: grlband
#homophobia #rant

Why would you go into a tag for something that had a new episode/chapter/whatever released before being caught up on said thing unless you are okay with spoilers?

Don’t yell at people for posting things in a tag when you went into that tag knowing there was new material.

And for the love of fuck don’t take your anger out on the rest of the tag with irrelevant spam. I’ve seen someone do that before. You are not entitled to a spoiler free tag. Call it polite to not spoil things if you want, but other people don’t work on your schedule. Just as you can unfollow someone to avoid spoilers, it’s only logical to not go into a tag for a thing you are not caught up on.

Posted at 4:57 PM on Jun 18, 2014 with 2 notes #fandom #rant #I am too tired to actually do anything I just had to get this out of my system for things that don't even concern me #nap time for me I'll attempt to dash later